What’s Britney Spears’ YouTube account being used for these days? Videos of Jamie Lynn’s daughter Maddie singing wildly inappropriate Britney songs. You know, the usual. Now, before you start sending us angry emails, let’s clear something up. Kids will pretty much sing anything regardless of what the lyrics are. They don’t know! It’s all for fun! Britney Spears’ niece Maddie might as well have been singing nonsense syllables, for all her interpretation. This is not a commentary on parenting, kids singing, us being horrible anti-Britney Spears demons or anything like that.
But when you put a video like this on the Internet, it becomes something different. Now everyone’s going “awwww so cute!” when the particular lyrics being sung are “and the room just got sexy” (“I know you want me” is excised, thank god, although it’s not really clear why or how), and when the title of the song is a not-all-that-subtle double entendre, the same double entendre present in half of all musical references to dancing. Too many people are failing to mention this, and that makes us really uncomfortable. Yeah, sure, kids singing are cute, but wouldn’t half of …Baby One More Time be maybe a bit more appropriate? Even “Till The World Ends.” There aren’t any words in that, even.