A Highly Scientific Ranking Of The Remixes By LMFAO (America’s No. 1 Group!)
Posted by Newson 07/28/2011 at 2:52 PM
You do not want party rock as your houseguest. Party rock will commandeer your living room for weeks and spill drinks all over your new couch and generally screw the place up, and it will never leave. At least that’s what you can infer from LMFAO’s now monthlong stay at No. 1. This makes them America’s choice, for this not-even-fleeting-anymore moment, for the No. 1 group and thus worthy of more in-depth critical consideration.
And as it turns out, Redfoo and SkyBlu are quite prolific remixers! Wikipedia has helpfully compiled a list; we at Popdust have taken the liberty of picking them all and ranking them. Well, almost. LMFAO’s material is far too singular and distinct from the group’s peers to be graded on a traditional scale. No, we must give them a curve, a rubric broken down as follows: Degree To Which The Beat Is Beaten Up, LMFAOOL (Laughing My F***ing Ass Off Out Loud) Moments and Sacrilege Quotient. (Sacrilege being a positive, because that is the spirit of party rock.) By these criteria, which remix is the most quintessential LMFAO? Let’s see!
BLACK EYED PEAS – BOOM BOOM POW
Degree To Which The Beat Is Beaten Up: Ever thought will.i.am was holding back when he let the beat drop? 9/10
LMFAOOL Moments: “Let the party rock!” is obvious. But the sheer shamelessness is worth at least a chuckle? Maybe. 4/10
Sacrilege Quotient: LMFAO is more or less distilled Peas. There is no sacrilege to be found here. 0/10
KANYE WEST – LOVE LOCKDOWN
Degree To Which The Beat Is Beaten Up: It goes furious, and yet still doesn’t sound all that wrong for “Love Lockdown”! We would dance to this. Unfortunately, it just… stops. 8/10
LMFAOOL Moments: “You broke my heart into a million pieces / I shoulda saw that coming, WISH I HAD TELEKINESIS! (This is not, in fact, how telekinesis works.) The Jesus line right after that is a contender, too (far be it for us to spoil its context), but million pieces/telekinesis. Multiple times. They’re 100% serious, too. 10/10
Sacrilege Quotient: Seriously, million pieces/telekinesis? All the weird sex stuff, too–it’s like the long-lost zero draft of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy if ghostwritten by a 12-year-old. 8/10
KATY PERRY – HOT N COLD
Degree To Which The Beat Is Beaten Up: Adapting “Hot n Cold”‘s beat into a full-on dance beat isn’t exactly hard. We’d be worried if LMFAO screwed it up. 5/10
LMFAOOL Moments: Less of a LMFAOOL than a WTF, as this somehow outdoes Katy for offensiveness: SkyBlu: “Take you to dinner, take you to a play, show you my love.” Redfoo: “Dude, that’s gay!” For context, this line is about a guy hitting on Katy Perry, possibly the most heterosexual situation imaginable. 2/10
Sacrilege Quotient: This is almost a perfectly serviceable dance remix. We will say no more. 2/10
LADY GAGA – LOVEGAME
Degree To Which The Beat Is Beaten Up: It’s more “Bulletproof” than “Boom Boom Pow.” Or than “LoveGame,” for that matter. There’s even a chilled-out bridge! This is neither party nor rock! 6/10
LMFAOOL Moments: A tie: The synthesized voice going “Party. Rock.” and “It happens all the time — girls want my body, but not my mind!” Wait a minute, isn’t that the opposite of “Love Lockdown”? 8/10
Sacrilege Quotient: When your original song contains the line “I wanna take a ride on your disco stick,” there’s not much more you can possibly do. Unless you’re LMFAO and can goof your voices up. They’re on a mission, and it involves some heavy camp. 6/10
TRAVIE MCCOY – BILLIONAIRE
Degree To Which The Beat Is Beaten Up: It’s less a banger than a sinuous… track. 3/10
LMFAOOL Moments: Um, hashtags? Except those were never funny to begin with. The song’s called “Billionaire,” and this is LMFAO! This is a major missed opportunity! 2/10
Sacrilege Quotient: Because, see, LMFAO makes overtures toward buying houses and being charitable. In other words, they adhere more or less to the song’s point. 1/10
THE GHOSTBUSTERS THEME
Degree To Which The Beat Is Beaten Up: By god, I don’t know how they did it, but with little more than bass and BPM boosts, you can, um, dance to this. 10/10
LMFAOOL Moments: LMFAO’s introductory lines? “Overdose on Ex-Lax”? The spoken-word section? 10/10
Sacrilege Quotient: Go back and reread which song this is. It doesn’t even matter that the double entendre was present in the original song. 10/10
WINNER: The Ghostbusters theme. Really, was there any question from the moment you read that title?
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