POPLIFE: A Britney Spears Dramatis Personae, in Easy Flipbook Form
Posted by on 03/29/2011 at 12:15 PM Exclusive, Photos
The Popdust Files: britney spears, christina aguilera, flipbook, justin timberlake, madonna, poplife, slideshow
A couple months back, when word first leaked of the new Britney Spears album, Popdust got to thinking about the insane cast of characters who have flitted into and out of her short but chaos-filled life. From her family to her frenemies to Fred Durst, here’s 60 ways of looking at the loopy life of Britney Spears.
FAMILY
Lynne Irene Spears: Mother; co-author with Britney of bio Heart-to-Heart and novel A Mother’s Gift." Rolling Stone's “The Tragedy of Britney Spears” cover story referred to Lynne as a “preening, difficult mother…whom Britney considers poisonous.”
Influence on Britney: :-/
FAMILY
James Spears: Father; assumed control of Britney’s career in 2008, when it was mostly a collection of broken things.
Influence on Britney: ( )
FAMILY
Jamie Lynn Spears: Younger sister; actress; played young Britney in Crossroads; her teenage pregnancy at the end of 2007 coincided with Britney’s public breakdown.
Influence on Britney: <3
MUSICAL CONSORTS
Max Martin: Exclusive writer of "…Baby One More Time" and co-writer of other Britney hits; he has tuned the radio in the shape of his dreams.
Influence on Britney: :D
MUSICAL CONSORTS
Dr. Luke: Max Martin collaborator; exclusive writer of "Circus"; one among many sources of new radio house-pop trend in which everything is a reflection of "Tik Tok" and "Tik Tok" is a reflection of everything.
Influence on Britney: (^.^)
MUSICAL CONSORTS
J. R. Rotem: Produced “Everybody”; Britney fling circa 2007
Influence on Britney: :-9
MUSICAL CONSORTS
The Neptunes: Chad Hugo and Pharrell Williams; hip-hop, R&B and pop producers; produced “I’m a Slave 4 U” and “Boys” from Britney; “I’m a Slave 4 U”’s video is maybe the most accurate visual expression of an early-'00s Neptunes beat.
Influence on Britney: :)~
MUSICAL CONSORTS
Nate “Danja” Hills: Timbaland protégé; co-architect of Blackout.
Influence on Britney: =/
MUSICAL CONSORTS
Bloodshy & Avant: Swedish co-architects of Blackout; produced “Toxic,” “Radar,” “My Prerogative” and more.
Influence on Britney: :D
MUSICAL CONSORTS
Terius “The-Dream” Nash: Co-wrote “Me Against the Music”; is now functionally Prince.
Influence on Britney: :|
MUSICAL CONSORTS
Guy Sigsworth: Co-wrote “Crazy” with Seal, which means he is cast in the purest gold; produced “Everytime,” which basically means he added those ghost keyboards to Britney’s piano demo.
Influence on Britney: (^o^)
MUSICAL CONSORTS
Backstreet Boys: Jive labelmates—their album Millenium is promoted at the end of early pressings of "...Baby One More Time."
Influence on Britney: c.c
MUSICAL CONSORTS
Madonna: Kisser of Britney and Christina Aguilera at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards; guest on "Me Against the Music"; Brit's "Radar" video is a clumsy reshoot of her "Take a Bow”; small, insignificant employment of Kabbalistic imagery in “Everytime” video probably done in homage.
Influence on Britney: =]:-)=
MUSICAL CONSORTS
Bobby Brown: Singer-songwriter; "My Prerogative" co-writer; like Britney, hurtled toward self-destructive center but, unlike her, never returned.
Influence on Britney: :-P
MUSICAL CONSORTS
Shania Twain and Mutt Lange: Former wife and husband who exert more influence over the way pop sounds today than they are properly accorded; co-wrote “Don’t Let Me Be the Last to Know,” from Oops… I Did It Again.
Influence on Britney: 3:
MUSICAL CONSORTS
Dido: Singer-songwriter; co-wrote “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman”
Influence on Britney: ;o_o;
MUSICAL CONSORTS
R. Kelly: R&B singer-songwriter; writer of “Outrageous"; maybe the brief vision of the future Da Vinci glimpsed before sketching “The Universal Man."
Influence on Britney: \,,/
MUSICAL CONSORTS
Keri Hilson: R&B singer-songwriter; backing vocalist for Britney; co-wrote “Gimme More.”
Influence on Britney: d-_-b
MUSICAL CONSORTS
Robyn: Swedish pop singer-songwriter; performs backing vocals on “Piece of Me.”
Influence on Britney: 0?0
TEAM BRIT-BRIT
Larry Rudolph: Britney’s manager from 1999 to 2004, in 2007, and currently.
Influence on Britney: :>.
TEAM BRIT-BRIT
Felicia Cullota: Britney’s personal assistant from 1998-2007. She resumed this position in 2009 and is Britney’s current personal assistant.
Influence on Britney: <3
TEAM BRIT-BRIT
Alli Sims: Britney’s cousin and personal assistant from 2007-2008.
Influence on Britney: (-_-)
TEAM BRIT-BRIT
Darrin Henson: Choreographer of several …Baby One More Time videos; primary source in Rolling Stone cover story, in which he says, among other things, “Britney would come offstage after performing in front of 15-16,000 people and start crying because she thought she was terrible… The girl doesn’t know who she is.”
Influence on Britney: :-(
TEAM BRIT-BRIT
Wade Robson: Choreographed “I’m a Slave 4 U”; rumored to have had a fling with Britney.
Influence on Britney: (~_^)
FRENEMIES
Sam Lutfi: Britney’s “manager”/ “life coach” circa 2007. Lutfi was Britney's sole confidant before she was placed on a 5150 psychiatric hold. Lutfi was accused by Britney's family of plying her with drugs, playing Jedi mind-tricks with her, and directly contributing to her crackup. Britney's conservators eventually obtained a restraining order against him.
Influence on Britney: (^^^)
FRENEMIES
Adnan Ghalib: Britney’s paparazzo boyfriend during her high-water mark of crazy, 2007-2008. Lawsuit magnet.
Influence on Britney: O.e
FRENEMIES
Paparazzi:The antagonist in almost every Britney video from “Everytime” on.
Influence on Britney: --!--
FRENEMIES
Christina Aguilera: Mickey Mouse Club co-star; teen-pop supporting actress to Britney's lead role; third wheel in shared kiss with Britney and Madonna; semi-analagous career trajectories until Britney entered the Blackout era and Christina made every project a long-incubated overwrought concept.
Influence on Britney: _l_
BFs
Robbie Carrico: Former member of Boyz-N-Girlz United; dated Britney briefly; 2008 American Idol semi-finalist.
Influence on Britney: =^_^=
BFs
Justin Timberlake: Mickey Mouse Club co-star; member of 'N SYNC; Britney’s boyfriend from 1999-2002; writer of "Cry Me a River," presumably about Britney; presumed subject of “Everytime.”
Influence on Britney: 8===D
BFs
Columbus Short: Back-up dancer; brief Britney fling in 2003.
Influence on Britney: :-)>....
BFs
Jared Leto: Actor, musician; dated Britney briefly in 2003; likes U2 a lot.
Influence on Britney: :-X
BFs
Jason Alexander: Britney’s childhood friend; married to Britney for 55 hours in 2004.
Influence on Britney: :-#
BFs
Colin Farrell: Rumored fling with Britney, but she mainly just kissed him at the premiere of The Recruit in 2003.
Influence on Britney: ;-)
BFs
Fred Durst: Limp Bizkit singer; claimed to have done stuff with Britney
Influence on Britney: qB-)
BFs
Kevin Federline: Back-up dancer for Justin Timberlake; married to Britney from 2004-2006; father to Sean and Jayden Federline, Britney’s sons; not very good at rapping.
Influence on Britney: ;_;
BFs
Isaac Cohen: Rebound fuck buddy following K-Fed breakup. Told News of the World that they "clambered on [a vibrating bed], and I grabbed the remote and started it turning round and round... All the time as we made love we watched ourselves in the mirrored ceiling... It was amazing but we did it so many times it made us start to feel sick.” Stay classy, bro.
Influence on Britney: >;)
BFs
Jason Trawick: Britney’s current boyfriend; Paris Hilton’s agent.
Influence on Britney: :o)
ENABLERS
Chris Crocker: YouTube personality; in the aftermath of the 2007 Video Music Awards, he passionately requested that the internet “leave Britney alone.”
Influence on Britney: ^>_>^
ENABLERS
Paris Hilton: Socialite and former reality-TV star; Britney’s friend in 2006-2007; recently appeared at the same party together, which catalyzed innumerable speculative articles of their possible reconciliation.
Influence on Britney: (>_<)
ENABLERS
Lindsay Lohan: Actress, singer; Britney’s friend in 2006-2007; disappeared down the black hole of celebrity.
Influence on Britney: :[
ENABLERS
Claus Hjelmbak: Founder of Scandanavian Style Mansion, which hosted Britney’s 26th birthday party; told Rolling Stone, “Britney and I are really, really good friends…That’s my contract for her, for a million-dollar deal. But it’s all friends.”
Influence on Britney: :-9
ENABLERS
Howie Day: Singer-songwriter; apparently met and dated Britney in rehab in 2007; one of Britney’s bodyguards reported that she and Day overdosed together.
Influence on Britney: :c
THESPIANS
Melissa Joan Hart: Cameo appearance in "(You Drive Me) Crazy" video, to promote semi-titular movie Drive Me Crazy; Britney guest-starred on her series Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
Influence on Britney: ( )
THESPIANS
Gloria Stewart: Played “the old lady” who “dropped it in the ocean at the end” of Titanic, which is referenced in “Oops… I Did it Again.”
Influence on Britney: 8)
THESPIANS
Kim Cattrall: Tiresomely naughty Sex in the City actress who played Britney's mom in the 2002 star vehicle Crossroads.
Influence of Britney: (^.^)
THESPIANS
Zoe Saldana: Co-star in Crossroads; Uhura; Neytiri
Influence on Britney: :3.
THESPIANS
Mike Meyers: Cameo as Austin Powers in the “Boys” video; Britney performed as a fembot in Austin Powers in Goldmember
Influence on Britney: ;]
THESPIANS
Stephen Dorff: Played Britney’s boyfriend in the “Everytime” video, in which he kicks some boxes and takes off his shirt in existential frustration.
Influence on Britney: \,,/
RANDOMS
Lou Pearlman: Started Trans Continental Records; assembler of the Backstreet Boys; architect of girl-group Innosense, of which Britney was intended to be a part; in jail for cheating both debt and America.
Influence on Britney: (^^^)
RANDOMS
DMX: ...Baby One More Time displaced his album Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood from the top of the Billboard 200.
Influence on Britney: : l
RANDOMS
Ed McMahon: Host of Star Search, now deceased; in 1992, a 10-year-old Britney performed “Love Can Build a Bridge” and ultimately lost the competition.
Influence on Britney: ;o_o;
RANDOMS
TLC: R&B group originally intended to record “…Baby One More Time.”
Influence on Britney: :D
RANDOMS
Kylie Minogue: Australian singer; originally offered “Toxic” for her album Body Language but rejected it.
Influence on Britney: :D
RANDOMS
Esther Tognozzi: Owner of Esther’s Hair Salon in Tarzana, Calif., site of Britney's infamous cri de coeur shearing; refused to personally conduct the shaving.
Influence on Britney: :u
RANDOMS
Judge Scott M. Gordon: In October, 2007, awarded Kevin Federline custody of their two kids “until further order of the court.”
Influence on Britney: (>_<)
RANDOMS
Alison Silva: Paparazzo who claimed to be beaten by three X17 photographers while covering Britney
Influence on Britney: --!--
RANDOMS
Elvis Presley: His 1958 song “Trouble” was appropriated by Britney during her 2007 MTV Video Music Awards performance.
Influence on Britney: 3:
RANDOMS
Peter, Paul and Mary: Folk group from the 1960s referenced in the Britney song “3" ("Countin' 1, 2, 3 / Peter, Paul and Mary")
Influence on Britney: O:)
RANDOMS
Bellamy Brothers: Country music duo; writers of "If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me"; complained that Britney’s 2011 single “Hold It Against Me” ripped them off.
Influence on Britney: O?O
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